Friday, May 22, 2009

A day at Book fair............

There are lots of students like me who would rather prefer learning things by watching. Reading books is like “not my cup of tea”. But this year I bought two books- “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by John Gray and “Sold” by Patricia McCormick. It was a visit to 13th annual Educational and Book fair organized at Bhrikuti Mandap, Exhibition Road, Kathmandu. It was my first time to any book fair so was pretty amazed and lil’ bit of confusion to see how people in this fast world of internet and technology still go for the slowest medium to learn things. It was a part of field reporting so obviously I have to observe the expo and report to my supervisor. During the observation I came across various types of books interesting, boring, funny, and serious but I didn’t find any of the books useless. From economics and technology to learn English and Nepali alphabets; every kind was well managed.

The most interesting part was that there was a sort of software running in the LCD monitor that teaches how to learn the alphabets and I could see some children following the voice “A for Apple, B for Ball”; I literally stood there for 20 minutes and got lost in my nursery days. It was so nice to see a new way of learning and I was wondering if we could already use these technologies during the first days of schooling. Another interesting part was the scientific approaches of students. There were vivid colleges to expo these scientific things (Ahh!!! May be I’m just poor at it and I hate science). I could see some young group involved in all these creative works and the most fascinating one was ‘Electrical Jaanto’. Jaanto is a traditional device to grind corn and it was manually run consuming lots of mechanical power and time as well. But this new one also runs manually but just to switch on the device and rest you just have to wait and watch how amazingly it works. I and my friends were watching that and our mouth were just uttering Wow!

For me this expo had certainly made a difference. The thing I used to call as “not my cup of tea”; I started drinking sip by sip and realized how amazing and how fascinating it actually is-BOOKS. I just finished reading this “Sold” by Patricia McCormick and could feel me getting into it(which I finished in a day). It’s really amazing book basically describes life of a hilly girl named Laxmi and her journey from her playing days in her own village to a brothel in Calcutta, India. If anyone interested to read it, without any hesitation you can contact me.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

A False Hope

It's a long journey
But I'm trudging along a hope within me
And as I look up at the stars in this lonely night
A memory of the past haunts me,
Like a shadow never leaving me
And I remember those blissful moments with you
This feels like dream
But no matter how hard I try
I can't reach you now
And I can't forget you too
For the love you gave me
For the hope you showed me
For the happiness you brought in my life
But before I could realize all this
You were already gone away from my life never to return
And it's too late now
To have you beside me
To have you back in my life
But still I'm trudging with a false hope
To be together again
To have you beside me once again
To have your love once again

Fading Past

"Love means each person is free to follow his or her own heart"

Looking at the interiors of the ring, I senesce about the memos remembering the day he bestowed it upon me. Reminding back those days brought an extra bliss with memories totally refreshing. But ever since our relation weakened all I could get is tears, blessing my vision every time. That's what he is doing steorly fading out of my life. I remember every moment I was with him, savoring his every move, smile and kiss. I never thought a person could be that precious to me. He was amazing and insensible, if hurt to look at him. But now it hurts to think of him. I memorized his face; dark eyebrows, black amazing eyes, tousled hair. His hands tan and strong could swallow my own. I had never loved anyone else the way I loved him.

The first time when I saw him after long days of quarrelling, I stood there quietly drinking him in and when I finally had him, I was almost in tears because I had never felt so alive, I don't know how long I stood there holding him, breathing in his scent with my face pressed against his shirt. I was left spell bound and I know I didn't want to left go. His only presence was a deep chasm that swept me into euphoria of his love. I cried bitterly, the day we parted, feeling utterly alone as I watched him ravishing away from life. I tasted the salt as I wept; feeling so angry at the world and at life that has chosen to be cruel and unfair, keeping aloof from each other. I thought my heart would break.

I sigh as I remember those painful memories, but I don't cry now. I have no tears left for him.

They say real love is forever. I don't know the exact definition of it, neither do I wish to know but he is as close as I have ever come to. He is gone now from my every memory and my dreams are all shattered by the harsh reality of the situation. I thought we were strong enough to make it. I was wrong he left; he took a piece of my heart with him.

For, a while, I could not eat or sleep, I felt so sick and empty. I didn't think I'd be able to go on without him. As I look back now- I see that it was a time of mourning- I was mourning the loss of relation that statue when I was in my teens and a year deep relation. I didn't think this hurt would ever end.

Then gradually, I understood the ways of life and are day I found that the sick feeling in my mind was all gone. I knew then, I was going to be okay, that I no longer needed him. I began to live my life again. As I look back, the only thing he ever gave me the entire time was tears and just tears that made me realize of my inner strength- the strength to hold back my tears and to hold on to myself even after facing the storm in my heart. I don't think I would have built up this self- confidence if he wouldn't have betrayed me, I just couldn't quite find it. Thank-x to him. Since then I was living my life normally but recently, what else more could happen, I saw him in a dance party with his new girl. For an instant, I couldn't let my eyes off his face. I smiled at my own fate thinking of how life plays so withy game on me. The first time I met him on a dance party itself and the last time, I'm thousand miles away from him. Today in three words I can sump up everything thing. I've teamed about life. "It goes on".

I smile as I remember him and then I gently slip the ring he gave and let it go.

Friday, May 8, 2009

BLACK

Come to world of dusk
Where I have been
Darkness is the color
I have always seen
I wonder if this dims- out
Is the very light
Because black and white
Is no disparate to my sight

I'm amidst generous people
Yet I live alone
Cared for like an animal
For the dimensions I have shown
So these people always pray
May tomorrow be my final day?
I can feel everything
Yet there is nothing I can say.

All I shout was for care
Which no one could ever share
When it came to loving me
It was not even rare
So I live on my own
As even my shadow they slack
There by I'm all alone
In my world of BLACK

Escape from reality

I sit alone in the corner of my room
Mourning the humans and their evil trends
Trying to make my life in bloom
With solitude, my only friend

The walls feel as though there are clasping in
Gulps of gaps are my so called breathe
My body shudders and all is dim
Waiting patiently for my arriving death

Now I feel easy and I feel free
No more of that agonizing pain and grief
With none of that eerie feeling engulfing me
I feel as like I'm abandoning a sinking ship

Drifting away from this cursed life
I'm able to hear and see,
The torment torture of where I used to thrive
Lives going to waste in absolute misery.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Youth for CHANGE

Load shedding, traffic jams, political instability, strikes, unemployment, and god knows what else. These are very few obstacles instance in our chores and every one of us directly or indirectly face it, talk about it and give the most unapplied suggestions. Nevertheless, when the question arises of overcoming it (ourselves)… every one of us goes blank. Then arises our usual habit- blaming; blaming the system, blaming the government. That is when we generally tend to forget to practice what we preach, “To change the world, first, one (we) should change.” Honestly answer, how many of us have tried to do it? How many of us worked for self-satisfaction rather than payment? Mind you, I am here talking about social changes.

If we sit for a discussion with any elderly people, they will not stop their radio of complaints about our generation and regard us as the lost ones in the world of fantasies. And somewhere inside even we feel so. This situation made me remind of my best friend’s line, “hope always exist and keep peeping your darkroom, you just need to identify the door and open up for a bright world.” My first day at one of the social organization, made me realize, though there are lost youths but even aware one takes higher percentage. I found myself among so many youths who in actual work for the satisfaction and smile when their job ultimately leads to widen the lips of those ‘in need’ ones. Youth initiative, SAATH, Haatemaalo, Nepal Plus, etc are few instances that I came across in these couple of months of my as a “social worker” days. Not with any bright dreams but just with a hope of simple social changes, these youths have involved themselves n sketched the path for a new world. I cannot assure about their potential for this nor I can measure it but no doubt, their enthusiasm, hard work, and dedication have seriously made it work out and proved their determination to bring about the changes in the existing unacceptable social and legal behavior ruling since decades.

Therefore, readers if you would also like to join hand in hand with these groups, we Media Studies Group would cordially invite you for your support and encouragement.

For further information contact: Sanchar Khabar

Upcoming Event: “Green Day”
Venue: Bhakundebesi
Day: 15th Ashad, 2066 B.S
Organizer: SAATH in collaboration with Kutumba and Music School
Aim: To plant 3000-4000 trees

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Sweet little memories…… and a life to live

It's true, nothing is everlasting. Those dreams once dreamed, those treasures of your lifetime, those prayers once asked for, those promises once made and those relations once bound up in- all these soon fade away. You walk of that door, but hope never dies out of you, sad eyes still linger around it.

Feelings have no boundaries. Those endured emotions heavy on heart flows on with tears when mementos really pinch you and touch you. Tears show how much you have wanted not to let go what you did earn out of love and care.

There are times when the one whom you adore the most isn't with you when you need him. You feel that you are going to chase those clouds of frustration away, but you never know while chasing those clouds you leave that someone to share your happiness with far away and miles apart from yourself. I guess these people come in our lives to steal away sadness and leave returning them, love them, loose them, realize their place in our loves and perhaps to miss them forever.

"Grief can take care of itself, but you need someone to share your happiness with". Is it true? May be may be not. But I need some one to share them both someone, a friend to be called as, I won't be asking my fried to walk with me life long, but would seek for faith that I'd find in that person. I don't need a promise, nor an assurance from anyone, but let faith emerge in me- reflecting that someone to be a friend for eternity. If it is real, friendship remains, in-erasable in its place no matter how far we proceed in life. People come and go but some leave in-erasable footsteps in our lives.

Life means to move on, and so do it. You can dream, make wish, desire, expect and sometimes when you can't help it out do even cry when dreams won't come true. Some lovely moments come in our lives, some good friends come in our way, but they aren't meant to be with us forever. But lets not forget sweet little memories are always there and a life to live.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Dad, Haven't I grown up?

Its been a long period living with you dad, asking for each and everything thing I wished for and you've always fulfilled my desires. Each day I wake up and get my daily schedule done then yet again the similar old dialogue which I dislike saying "Dad I need some money". Life goes on, as those numerous years have passed by, dad you have upholded me for the whole thing every single second. Now let it be my turn. I sometimes feel sorry because I'm not able to do anything for you till this day. My conscience won't let me beg. So, "Dad please help me to earn not to beg". I know it's tough for you to say, "It's your time to earn a living".

Dad please don't misread me; I'm not going to mess up. I'll turn out to be an established one to watch out your requirements. You've carried out a lot for me and I sincerely adore you but now I'll do it on my own approach and it will be my turn.

Dad this time I had thought of writing something different but true but then again. I'd hate to say I've to make some printouts of these so "I want some money Dad".