Saturday, May 9, 2009

Fading Past

"Love means each person is free to follow his or her own heart"

Looking at the interiors of the ring, I senesce about the memos remembering the day he bestowed it upon me. Reminding back those days brought an extra bliss with memories totally refreshing. But ever since our relation weakened all I could get is tears, blessing my vision every time. That's what he is doing steorly fading out of my life. I remember every moment I was with him, savoring his every move, smile and kiss. I never thought a person could be that precious to me. He was amazing and insensible, if hurt to look at him. But now it hurts to think of him. I memorized his face; dark eyebrows, black amazing eyes, tousled hair. His hands tan and strong could swallow my own. I had never loved anyone else the way I loved him.

The first time when I saw him after long days of quarrelling, I stood there quietly drinking him in and when I finally had him, I was almost in tears because I had never felt so alive, I don't know how long I stood there holding him, breathing in his scent with my face pressed against his shirt. I was left spell bound and I know I didn't want to left go. His only presence was a deep chasm that swept me into euphoria of his love. I cried bitterly, the day we parted, feeling utterly alone as I watched him ravishing away from life. I tasted the salt as I wept; feeling so angry at the world and at life that has chosen to be cruel and unfair, keeping aloof from each other. I thought my heart would break.

I sigh as I remember those painful memories, but I don't cry now. I have no tears left for him.

They say real love is forever. I don't know the exact definition of it, neither do I wish to know but he is as close as I have ever come to. He is gone now from my every memory and my dreams are all shattered by the harsh reality of the situation. I thought we were strong enough to make it. I was wrong he left; he took a piece of my heart with him.

For, a while, I could not eat or sleep, I felt so sick and empty. I didn't think I'd be able to go on without him. As I look back now- I see that it was a time of mourning- I was mourning the loss of relation that statue when I was in my teens and a year deep relation. I didn't think this hurt would ever end.

Then gradually, I understood the ways of life and are day I found that the sick feeling in my mind was all gone. I knew then, I was going to be okay, that I no longer needed him. I began to live my life again. As I look back, the only thing he ever gave me the entire time was tears and just tears that made me realize of my inner strength- the strength to hold back my tears and to hold on to myself even after facing the storm in my heart. I don't think I would have built up this self- confidence if he wouldn't have betrayed me, I just couldn't quite find it. Thank-x to him. Since then I was living my life normally but recently, what else more could happen, I saw him in a dance party with his new girl. For an instant, I couldn't let my eyes off his face. I smiled at my own fate thinking of how life plays so withy game on me. The first time I met him on a dance party itself and the last time, I'm thousand miles away from him. Today in three words I can sump up everything thing. I've teamed about life. "It goes on".

I smile as I remember him and then I gently slip the ring he gave and let it go.